got some work done today... cleaning up my room tt is. always knew wat a pigsty i lived it, but didn't know it was this bad! lolz. sometimes, u so wanna get a companion and sometimes, u appreciate singlehood. decisions are never easy. my sentences are like a stream of thot. as they enter my brain, i type them out. itz getting late.

aimlessness is bad. my parents have been telling me tt and i can feel it too. but at the same time, the fun is realli enjoyable (is fun ever anything else?) gotta do some work soon or analyse some poetry to make me feel more at ease. dunno why but understanding a poem makes me feel... so much better. another thing makes me feel much better. sleep. nite.

4th in 4 days. just married. no-brainer show to watch with ur loved one. i didn't have one. getting over the sadness of not having one... soon.

dear fren, thx for all the time we've been together. even when we dun talk for months, i can still feel ur presence. we talk about anything and everything, i can even remember how many kids u want. =) i wish u all the best in what u do. i just pray tt we'll be there for each other whenever we need to. but i know, i know tt we will. we just seem to have tt chemistry. u've probably been having confusing thoughts over the past week or so. well, i've had them for years. just remember, tt no matter wat, we'll always remain frenz, forever there when we need each other.

tt was addressed to a specific person, only she will know.

watched my 3rd movie in 3 days. adaptation. i think for me it was kinda like an in-between of tears of the sun and the hours. ttz y i didn't like it as much probably. cos it didn't attempt to grab me either way. sighz. i feel like a bastard. itz so fun and easy to suan ppl but itz so wrong at times. sorry 'u-noe-who'. yeah.

no sch till 6th april... hmm. more time for me to slack. the more time u slack, the less u wanna get back into it. caught the hours today. wasn't too bad. a show which makes u think which is gd and bad depending on how u look at it. but wat i liked bout the hours was tt it talked bout wat i've been thinking bout for the past couple of weeks. life. live it. dun regret it.

All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.
Edmund Burke

tears of the sun is gd, dunno why josh said it isn't. maybe cos itz my kind of movie. it has action sequences but most importantly, itz touching. sighz. i'm easily moved. i can just envision myself forgiving my gf for cheating on me because she's crying. i'm weak or watever u call it. alot of ppl have alot of opinions on 2nd intake. i don't think it matters much. if we meet, we might interact. if not, so be it. those leaving the sch, sad if u are my fren but wat can we do? life's about parting and meeting new people. most important lesson: enjoy the time u currently have with anyone u like. when itz time to miss, there's nothing to be done.

hey guyz, just came back from kl today. had a real fun trip, the j2s are a crazy bunch of ppl and they're so nice. got to know a few of the j1s better. hope renji's not too pissed but itz all part of the trip man. wth... i kena also wat and so did jas. but itz ok. i'm sure he'll cool. ate so much junk my throat's feeling like sandpaper. bought some nice tees and a board short! woohoo. didn't do any studying but nobody did much work so... haha. u get the pic.

slacking is bad for ur health. i realli think so. slacked at home the whole day today and caught a minor fever. i think. my mother keeps threatening to cut the cable tv. sighz. hope she doesn't. i'm off to kl tmr... all the way till sat. will miss u guyz, u noe who. i realised i haven't found my aim yet. hope to find it in kl. (btw, i'm talking bout life... not girls... found tt one alreadi =P)

busy... even during the holidays i'm busy. is that bad? i need time to rest, to analyse things, find my path, know where i wanna go. too often, we rush through life, living for the moment, with no true purpose, no true direction. sometimes, we need direction. i need some soon.

today's class bbq was nice guyz. thx alot. got to just sit in the atmosphere and enjoy each others company. it was amazing. realised tt kenneth is rather gd at the guitar too. beginning to like my clas smore and more. hope jo is too. keep this up guyz.

one thing's that essential for a guy. knowing how to be sweet to your gf. or female frenz for tt matter of fact. dun say the truth if it hurts. show concern when they're sad or angry. give them nice stuff once in awhile. have meaningful conversations once in awhile, depending on the closeness.

fun fun expensive day today. i treated josh and weiyang to fish and co. heh. dunno why i felt so generous today. maybe itz god. =) then we had a rather gd talk with jon at dome and i played pool below my house for awhile b4 reaching home at 12. heh. i'm becoming a bad boy. ouch. the itch to play is coming again. i might sneak down... argh. lotsa activities coming up these few days. take care all. *if at all there's anyone out there*

today was a gd day. had a worship with my classmates (6 of us) and it was beautiful. worshipping god makes everything go away. all the hurt and pain. all the disappointment and stress. thank you god. i've been missing you.

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace
where there is hatred... let me sow love
where there is injury... pardon
where there is doubt... faith
where there is despair... hope
where there is darkness... light
where there is sadness... joy
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled... as to console
to be understood... as to understand
to be loved... as to love

may u remember this prayer in times of need. for many a time, it has helped me.

aimless... life's getting aimless. i mean school and soccer and church's all fine. but wat is life if u can't enjoy once in awhile? take a breather and smell the roses. i haven't done tt in awhile. not with anyone in particular at least. sighz. will u be the one?

is our class really that bad? maybe not... maybe we're just settling down from all the hype and the usual cliques will appear. doesn't tt always happen? will 1A01D still be so 'happening' a month from now? there's more to life than getting jealous of other ppl's lives and wishing u had watever they had... life's bout treasuring what u have. nothing's truly ever black or white. itz how u look at it. if u concentrate on how life could improve, u'll never be satisfied. rather, aim for something u know u can and definitely want to achieve, and get it. ttz when true satisfaction appears. ignore other ppl, they're not living UR life.

once in awhile, i know why i do the things that i do. today, i realised why i take lit as a subject. the satisfaction when u understand a poem to its fullest (maybe not, but enough of it) is indescribable. i guess that's why i was always better in the humanities than the sciences, because i always had more interest in the humans. when u have more interest in something, u tend to do more bout it. like for example, a girl, if u like a girl enough to go woo her, tt means something. thus, it means something tt i'm not wooing anyone. i dun like anyone enough. hopefully, i will at the rite time. itz late... very late. nite.

decided to go for soccer today instead of cell... feel a little guilty bout it but at the same time, satisfied cos i played rather well. i can't help but feel helpless whenever i read someone else's blog and itz nostalgic/melancholic. i feel like i wanna do something cos tt person's my fren but i can't. i'm useless. i'm not there for my frenz when they cry. i say the wrong words. i'm never there.

u dun click with everyone u meet, not all ur frens' frens have to be urs too. but i always feel like crap whenever some 'nice' guy doesn't seem so nice to me. i think, maybe i'm not giving him a fair chance, or maybe i haven't seen his other side, or.. u know... anything. parting... parting's never easy. but i realised girls form frenships much easier and stronger than guyz do. we take time to build a strong relationship. bad? i dun think so... cos those bonds made are super-strong. i want more of those bonds in my life.

responsibility. is it just me or does is man born lazy? rhetorics... i love rhetorics. i love smallville cos i'm kinda like clark in terms of dealing with girls. yeah. i'll leave it at tt... too much explaining to do. today's a short entry. aren't u glad?

had a frenly match today against some indo-chinese. 8-0... i played like crap. sighz. i'm scared my place will be taken by kenneth. i mean i'll like wish him all the best and stuff but in the end, everyone wants to get into the team and get the nice jersey FOC regardless of frenship. haha... just remembered there's no such thing as IRregardless. haha... evans is damn funny. hopefully i can give the tutors a gd impression. i realli want this scholarship. eh bran... do u read this? absence makes the heart grow fonder. still rem tyr? i do... i miss him at times. esp when i meet sji ppl. hope xavier and jane are fine. sighz... i haven't done my duty. sorry tyr.

does anyone even read this blog? interesting thot... adil's back in rj. dunno whether to feel sad or happy. the same way i felt when he first left. itz like... should i be glad tt we have a better chance now or sad tt he's back to take his position and i'll have less chances. and vice versa. realised tt i dunno much general knowledge and that i better read up more... if i wanna do well in this programme. (ttz if i even get it in the 1st place). my headphones hurt a little.. but i guess itz all about adaptation... humans are weird. u can never... NEVER guess what a person's feeling at anytime. just a thot...

catch me if u can was nice, if not unspectacular. wasn't boring, but not surprising either. finally got my headphones... phew. no longer have to use half-broken ones. wonder who got 1st in the Os... hope its us. not tt i realli care much, but to prove all those who discredited out batch wrong. essays... they suck. horrible long thingys which ppl feel the need for quantity more than quality. i never had the quantity... always console myself with the thot tt i might have the quality. =P

didn't go to sch today... got a bump on forehead, scrapes on knee and elbow and wrist hurts again. but it aint so bad... hopefully. might go catch 'catch me if u can' today with my church frenz. heard itz nice. it better be. will be my 1st movie in months. well, gtg sleep again. *pig*

hi... well... this is amos' blog. dun even know wat blog means. =P wat am i doing? heh. well, i realised that i needed an avenue to release my anger and this became it. in time, u'll find out more bout me... wonder who'll be the first to find out bout this site. hope it doesn't spread around too much.

On earth, there is no heaven, only pieces of it.
I found one piece of heaven. it was you.
But that piece of heaven, was called to heaven
and left me alone wishing for a safe haven.
For I could find no other
piece of heaven like you.

(to tyrone... deceased 2001)