fasting...

doesn't make you a better person, it accentuates your deficiencies and impels you to do something about it. no longer can one hide behind the busyness of life or the 'good' we do. but face-to-face with our demons, one realises the severity of the situation. deal with them or forever be plagued by them. what's our choice?

two beds and a coffee machine

when i'm tempted to let loneliness take reign and affect me... i remember why i do not succumb. because unless it's right (if i dare say... perfect), it's not worth it. to spend the rest of my life wondering what if... or why.

and so... i wait. wait on god, trusting in his provision. waiting for the right one, at the right time.

the day we stop struggling, we're either in heaven... or we've given up going to heaven.

it's always easy to say we wanna take the narrow path, till we're actually on it. some days, it's easier being on the path because we really want to be on it. other times, it's just easier because we're not actually consciously aware of the path (are we even on it?).

for a really long time (prob since sec sch), i've said how wonderful it'll be if we stayed as kids; to have that carefree-ness and innocent happiness, taking pleasure in the simple things. as we grow up, we understand how more things can give pleasure (yet somehow warped) and we forget what it was like to be a child. in a desperate attempt to be mature and adult-like, we abandon the beauty of children: childlike happiness and childlike faith.

i can't wait to spend an extended period of time away from singapore, away from affluence, where people still understand the joys of simplicity. yes... they yearn for everything we have (rather foolishly in my opinion) but yet they are strangely content with what they have.

some lessons just seem impossible to teach those who think they know and understand it all.

i just watched phantom of the opera with my sister. it was a great outing. firstly, because i've always wanted to watch phantom the musical; having heard so much about it and watching the movie (which wasn't great), i had to watch the musical for myself. secondly, because it was with my sister, anna. she's really busy so we don't get much time to just hang out but we're still close.

what makes phantom so great has to be the songs. the set, costumes, etc, are good but not spectacular. with the exception of the phantom and maybe christine, the characters are rather forgettable. so what is it? it's andrew lloyd webber's brilliance. the composition and lyrics are beautiful and apt. the balance and variety is admirable. 'all i ask of you' is such a beautiful duet.

i thank god for my sister. she's amazing, the way she balances everything with the maturity and poise she possesses. its great how we can talk about almost anything and encourage and support one another. i can't say enough about her, you'll have to get to know her for yourself.

heading home soon... with 12 hours left in new york, i'm starting to miss the place. i understand why everyone loves manhattan cos i do too. almost everything you could possibly want is here. you have your quaint romantic alleys, bustling cosmopolitan districts, touristy sightseeing spots, and anything and everything you could wanna shop (well... almost). it helps when you eat really well, stay for free, and your host takes such good care of you. heh.

i'm really thankful for this trip. god has truly been watching over me throughout and i know he will bring me home safely. his perfect timing and fatherly protection never cease to amaze me... every single day of this trip he has amazed me. i've seen wat i wanted to see, done wat i wanted to do, and so much more. things which i didn't consider, opportunities which i didn't create, all given by His great provision.

on a lighter note, i've been thinking about traveling. like where else would i wanna go, with whom, and to do wat. i def wanna come back to the us again, to visit cities that i haven't yet and want to (like chicago, dc, san francisco, etc). but beyond that, i wanna go to europe first. experience a different culture and all. europe is so big, with so many wonderful places that are different from the other. backpacking around asia with a bunch of good frenz would be great too. the thing for me to remember though, is that while traveling is enjoyable and a good break and all, it is to be done in the right timing and to the right degree. which i think i can manage. dun wanna become a traveholic. heh.

thanks to all those who have so kindly given me free accommodation during this trip (the sim family, weiming, val). thanks for all the new frenz i have met and made along the way (people in theme parks, airplanes... singaporeans in upenn). thanks to all the old frenz that i've had the pleasure of catching up with. and most of all, thank you god... for your sovereignty in everything.

amen.

i spent the weekend in philadelphia with valerie! =)

we didn't do much sightseeing cos there isn't much to see in philly. heh. but we did spend alot of time with the singaporeans in upenn. which was great. they're really a nice bunch of people and i'm thankful that i made so many frenz. its almost as if i was a freshman getting acquainted with the school and trying to make frenz with some of the other students. i can safely say that i would be quite happy if i were to end up studying in upenn. not that i dun wanna nus law. i do. its where i think god's calling me and where i wanna go so its great.

can't wait to go home actually. not that i miss home that much. its just that i've seen most of wat i wanna see or wat i can take. 3 weeks is just about right i think.

hmm... short post. philly was just very... comfortable. which was good.

so where was i? lets see... ah yes... after sunday is monday. =p

on monday, i ate korean food for lunch and then wanted to go to the met (metropolitan museum of art). however, it was closed. lol. weiming's fren was still telling me about how much she liked it and all over lunch. walked over to the guggenheim museum which was kinda expensive and didn't really look like my kinda thing or i wasn't in the mood for it that day. either way, i skipped it and decided to head to central park.

central park is huge. and beautiful. there's this huge reservoir which is dedicated to jacqueline kennedy onassis. its calm, beautiful, scenic and lotsa people jog or just walk around it. i walked around part of it before heading to the observatory/shakespeare garden. nothing much. just another nice view of central park and manhattan (so many places have scenic views of manhattan... its the skyscrapers, the nature, and the contrast between the both of them if you ask me). then, i jogged/walked over to strawberry fields which is dedicated to john lennon and in particular, his song 'imagine'. [sidetrack: jogging in spring weather over here is wonderful. its cool enough for you not to get sticky and disgusting but not too cold such that you'll shiver] strawberry fields isn't much to look at, but the meaning behind the place is kinda cool. there's a plaque somewhere in there that says 'imagine all the people in the world living in peace', and then proceeds to list all, if not most of the countries in the world.

after that, headed down to ground zero (the old world trade centre). its nothing much to look at now cos they're rebuilding it but its still a place you must visit. just looking at the site and reading the names of the deceased and the heroes makes you remember how temporal our life is on earth. wall street isn't much to look at either; unless you're a budding investment banker or something, its just alot of huge skyscrapers built by really rich people.

at nite, we went to the east and west village for dinner/dessert. pastries! there's this place here called viniero's that sells pretty cookies and miniature tarts and good cheesecake. the tarts and cookies looked so good that i bought almost 3 pounds worth! which is alot... haha. still slowly finishing them up till today. heh.

tuesday... (wow, monday seemed long) we went to south street seaport for lunch and to walk around. i ate deep dish pizza, which was alrite. but i somehow think the deep dish pizzas in chicago will def be better cos it originated from there. bought some clothes from gap and abercrombie. my 1st bit of shopping for myself over here. ha. i dun really like to shop if you dun already know.

Broadway musicals! if you've heard of them, you almost def wanna catch one in new york itself. and i did... on tuesday nite. its called avenue q and its really good. its a social satire of which half of the cast are puppets but its really funny and perceptive. it doesn't shy away from discussing sensitive issues (of cos... this is america) and it does justice to watever topic it discusses. although i didn't agree with all the opinions of the scriptwriters/play, i thoroughly enjoyed the play. i dun believe that you need to agree with a piece of art in its entirely to appreciate it. likewise, if you appreciate it, it doesn't necessarily mean that you agree with it. just my point of view. and i wouldn't shy away from expressing my opinions about a piece of art, even if it differs from the general public.

on wednesday, i met another fren of mine who was my jc classmate for awhile. alvin liong, nice, smart, tall, and too bad looking too (like i'm advertising for him or something... lol). it was nice catching up with him and just talking about anything, nothing and everything.

finally, i went to the met. i thought it was kinda small at first cos it was mainly only 2 floors but boy was i wrong. its huge! and lovely. it segmented the exhibits by nation/culture (ie. american, chinese, japanese, etc.) and that was great cos that gives you a good feel of what the art of that particular culture tells you. i saw japanese, chinese, american, european (dutch, french, italian, spanish, etc), greek/roman, and modern art amongst others. i could tell you my individual opinions on all of them but it would be too long for me to do today. overall, it was really good cos i got a better insight and perspective into all the different cultures (their influences, concerns, modes, methods, etc) and got to see really good art. i like it alot... its a museum worth repeat visits.

then, i went to madison square garden to see if i could catch a basketball game. the new york knicks were playing the cleveland cavaliers, who just so happen to have lebron james. that was prob one of the reasons why tickets were so hard to get. such that, i had to queue for 30 mins and the cheapest tickets i got were 80 usd. 80! however, something really cool happened. cos we were waiting for so long. the guy behind me was kinda agitated and upset at the long waiting time and he started talking to me. when it came to my turn, i asked him if he wanted to go first cos he looked like he was in a rush for time. he was appreciative (he managed to get a cheaper ticket!) and it turns out that he's actually a season ticket holder. thus, he brought me along to some reception for season ticket holders where there was free food and drinks and where the knicks management talked to the fans. it was a great experience.

the match itself was really good too. the fans were quite disinterested at the start of the game because they thought that the knicks were prob going to lose seeing as how they've been playing. but as the game progressed, and the knicks were still in the game, the fans slowly started to warm up. when at the start no one was chanting and cheering, the whole stadium was rocking with about 2 minutes left in the game and the knicks still leading. the chants of defence and the clapping rang throughout the stadium. when marbury hit the winning shot with seconds to play, the stadium erupted. everyone was already standing in anticipation but when he hit the 3-pointer. everyone just jumped and cheered and hi-fived or watever. the cheer was even louder than when the game ended and the knicks won cos everyone was rushing out the exit. ha.

today, i did some shopping. need to finish up buying watever everyone has asked me to get for them or watever i myself wanna get. at night, i went to watch chicago, the musical. the songs were good, the dancing stunning. but i was falling asleeping during the first half. lol. i dunno how or why but it just happened. thankfully, the second half was the better half and i was wide awake.

hmm... wanted to publish this earlier. sorry it took so long. past 3 days coming up soon.