guyz... i'm getting sick and tired. of trying to organise stuff and nobody (or the same few) turning up. of trying to keep the everlasting memory of the gd years which were sec 3 and 4. of making the effort to go down to such stuff. yes, i know its at my house so its more convenient for me. but i'm more than willing to go anywhere just for u guyz, hope u know tt. itz bloody pissing off to hear all the valid/non-valid excuses. there comes a pt when u forget the validity of it, and just focus on the 'where the f' are u part. yeah... so u mite have ccas/new frenz/girlfrenz/watever... big deal. not as if i dun have those, except the girlfren part of cos. sighz, i dun wanna say anymore. i mite not even wanna do anymore. hopefully, this will make u guyz think bout it. and yes, if u read this, show/tell it to somebody else who shud read it. bloody gays.

hmm... let me clarify something. yes, i did write that my perfect girl would be someone who was taller than me so i wouldn't lian lei my children. the context of that was that i remembered when i was younger (prob 12?) and i was pissed that i was short cos ppl kept teasing me bout it (as they still do). then, i would still once in awhile, wish i were tall so i wouldn't have to go through the same 'torture' everyday. but looking at my parents, i knew tt i would prob stay short my entire life. thus, i told myself then and there that i would marry someone taller than me so my children will have a higher chance of being tall. YES, it is dumb and i know that. and dun worry, i tease myself all the time bout being short so of cos i'm fine with it. dunno y i wrote it as one of my criteria too. just ignore it k? yupz.

it's been ages since i last posted anything and i've kinda gathered that more than a handful of people read this so hopefully the long gap in between posts will put people off. hmmz... actually dun have much to say this time except that i'm quite stoked (rite usage?) with my new comp and my maths grade. lol. B. i was actually hoping for an A but after knowing a few questions that i screwed up, i knew it was impossible. but am still quite glad for my grade cos it's all by God's grace. yup, all u non-christians out there. do wat u always do. hmmz. my mother has made me an apathetic, two-faced person. dun wanna go into details. sighz.

everything's changing...

dear fren, sorry this is so damn late. i'm pissed with myself for that particular reason. i'm pissed that i haven't been there for u at times when u needed me. i'm pissed that life's treating u so bad. but life's like that. the chinese said it best when they said u must enjoy the sour, sweet, bitter, and hot (bad translation). i guess for me, thats wat i want. i'm not afraid of disappointment because if i dun take risks, i might not get happiness. and not even u can protect urself completely from shitty old life, cos certain times, life just throws us a curveball. and for those times tt ppl can protect u, let them. cos it feels so much better. settling for something when u know u can get better is not something i would do. but then, how will u know wat u can get? who knows. u either have to reconcile urself with the times u know u will get pissed, or initiate a change that might hopefully make u happier. but u already know that.
if someone had told me in p6, that i would get such a special fren as u, i would've dismissed them. but i have, and i know that for years to come, u'll stay that very special fren in my life. i pray that watever decision u make, watever route u take, u will be contented.
love, amos.

was planning on blogging later in the morning but i'm afraid something's mite be forgotten. just came back from korea and the place is beautiful in many ways. go there and experience it for yourself if you can. most of all, the people are so... sensitive, warm, basically, better than the average singaporean. i felt tt the moment i came into contact with singaporeans i did not know on the plane. ewww.
on the bright side of the plane trip, how to lose a guy in 10 days, followed by ruben singing flying without wings and the sunset in the clouds was marvellous. how i wish 'u' were there.

everybody's looking for that something
one thing that makes it all complete
you'll find it in the strangest places
places you never knew could exist

8 hours of sleep for 2 days... ouch. slept at 4 and 830 am on consecutive days. but ttz not the pt. the pt is tt i was severely disappointed and disgusted with myself. firstly, i was 90 mins late for a meeting which almost never happens to me. yes, its true. there was a time when punctuality was synonymous with me. now, tardiness has set in and the blame's all on myself. i hate it. but i couldn't be bothered to do anything bout it. then, it got worse. had an overdose of fun with fourkers on sat and said lotsa dumb stuff. not saying tt it wasn't true but i overdid it and i knew it. but i let the mood and situation take control and my mouth just blabbered. wat made it so bad was tt i wasn't only embarrassing myself, i was embarrassing the girl too even though she wasn't there. sorry, *******. i need to apologise for my horrendous behaviour. i was making a joke out of something tt din matter. and i missed church cos i overslept. wat makes me so pissed at myself is because i know i'm better than wat i currently am. i'm just not trying enough. hopefully, this will cause me to change myself.

sorry, is all that I can say
years gone by, and still
words don't come easily

overdue entry here. watched bowling for columbine on fri with class. wat a wonderful show which could be a little boring for those who did not see the meaning behind it. at first, it seemed that there was no link between the description of racial segregation, history, lax laws, and media, it was all well rounded up by the interview of charles heston. wat irony that it was charles heston who acted as moses in the mammoth ten commandments years ago for it seemed that he was making his own commandments while trying to explain acts of madness with pathetic excuses. when pushed to the brink, he 'calmly' walked off, ignoring the pleas to take a look at the young 6 year old girl who had been killed by a fellow 6 year old. that incident itself sparked racial tensions because of its circumstances but going into it will be long-winded and ineffective. y i'm saying all this was because when the movie ended all i felt was anger. anger at the idiots in america who are unknowingly causing all of this, the stupid media. at all the hurt and suffering the blacks have to endure in america when others all around the world celebrate life with everybody. i was so pissed that i just kept silent while walking to fish and co. sighz. life's unfair, we all know that and hopefully accept that. but ttz not the way itz supposed to be, at least i feel so. like mr. reeves's said, in the past everyone believed that equality in society was the best, the norm. now, everyone thinks otherwise. the poor remain poor, the rich rich. the smart outdo the dumb and couldn't be bothered otherwise. one day, perhaps things will reverse again. hopefully, but unlikely, for humanity has morphed into a selfish, jealous, angry being.