found my contact lenses! hooray... but i realised wat a mess i live in. ha. it was on my table, can u believe it? in the pile of notes, worksheets, magz, and wat nots... luckily, i din go order another pair. i realli must tidy up abit. miss the fourkers. we have so much fun together. well, the less the time we spend together, the more i treasure it so maybe it aint all tt bad. i wanna play tennis again... bought a racket... remember? so happy... can go and do more stuff cos dun have to waste 200 bucks on contacts! hahaha... i'm so glad with myself for finally deciding to do some cleaning up. realised i have tons of notes to read for hist essay. meaning i prob have to stay home tmr to start and finish it. spent a whole day on sat during pw. quite happy though cos i actually did something (though some ppl in my grp will contend tt). well... better go back to my reading of notes. isn't cavour a nice name?

oh forgot to say tt i went to visit my fren who just patched up a hole in his lung. heh. can't see much now... except 3 plasters which cover up the memories of his ordeal. was great fun just hanging out with him and my couz. hmm... not much to say. lol.

you and me always... and forever.

i realised that i realli am damn forgetful. think i've lost my contact lenses. bleah. ttz like 200 bucks wasted cos i use permanent. hmm... lxg. was kinda cool. haven't watched a movie in awhile so... + i was deciding between that and down with love so i had to justify my decision. heh. i can fool myself to think watever i wanna think, i think. make sense? mars is just a teeny weeny red dot but looking at it just makes me feel so... i dunno. reminds me of god's creations... reminds me of how minute i am... makes me think of u...

i only see one star up there, and i wish it were u. so i can look at it every nite.

finally bought myself a new jacket. seriously hope i dun lose it. thing is, with me i lose my like one possession every week or something lidat. itz quite bad. have lost 3 phones in 1+ year? the joke in my church is that i mite lose my girlfren. no way, man. if i even get one that is. today was quite fun. eye-opener at the subourdinate courts. will i see myself there in the future? i seriously do not know. i thot i wanted to... but i'm not sure now. maybe journalism is more suited to me... magazine articles and stuff. an avenue for my expression. i shud think more bout such stuff. and yes, i need to start mugging. finally all my mother's persuasion has worked, or rather, a gd frenz word of advice. if i put in the effort, i can do it. no harm in trying rite?

i'm in a blogging craze after reading so many blogs alreadi. someone else knows the word, serendipity! ha! oops... my fav show, quite sparse there. sometimes i wonder inevitably i suppose, if the things i do are genuinely for others, or just myself. guess u never realli can know, can u? cos itz more like a scale rather than black and white (even then itz a scale, oops), and every time itz diff so... hmm. i think i better stop typing anything... quite high for some inexplicable reason.

this has to be the first time i'm writing bout villa. woohoo! thank god that doug ellis finally brought in a gd manager in o'leary. even though the match against liverpool could've gone either way, i was mighty pleased (very rollason there) with villa's play. oh yeah, for those of u who dun know, i support an english soccer team called aston villa. yeah, ttz the same league as man utd, who once had david beckham. lol. haven't been so excited bout villa's play in a long, long time. haven't blogged in a long time too. was actually doing work last week, quite amazed with myself bout tt. the week has started and i have to do more work. sighz. looking forward to the long weekend though! whew!
josh: lucky idiot! pon sch for 1-2 weeks with legitimate reason somemore... heh. hope it doesn't hurt so bad now. take care bro.

Now one of the Pharisees invited Jesus to have dinner with him, so he went to the Pharisee's house and reclined at the table. When a woman who had lived a sinful life in that town learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee's house, she brought an alabaster jar of perfume, and as she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them. ... Then he turned toward the woman and said to Simon, "Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven--for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little."

i love you more than life

when friends and family fail, God doesn't. when live seems to have no meaning, in God there is. when i get weary, u restore me.

if i had wings i would fly
cos all that i need you are
and if the world caved in around me
to you i'd still hold on
cos you're all that i believe
and the one that created me
Jesus because of you
i'm free

i'm free

sometimes i wish i din care so much so that it wouldn't piss me off when ppl do selfish, insensitive things. y? cos the whole world seems to think tt ppl are selfish, put on a mask half the time and are judgemental. i dun believe so but it seems like i'm fighting a losing battle. everyone's making me believe that i'm living in some screwed up world of my own and i'm just fooling myself. watever. talked with a fren with whom i was best frenz in p5. we prob din know it then, but we have tons in common and itz always been great talking to u. we have lotsa fun and all but we can have our serious conversations too. i have a 'serious' side too u know. but, in the end, i'm not gonna stop giving just cos the world's taking, stop listening cos the world's talking. i'm gonna do wat i'm gonna do and u can't do anything bout it. can u?

feel quite satisfied with myself the past few days. been painting the childcare centre (whoever lives near bukit batok west blk 211 go see!), done some hw (ohmigosh, yes its true), playing cm (been a long long time), and just on the whole, enjoying myself. ballroom dancing was quite fun (amazingly) and i'm not as mean as ppl take me to be lah. i can't believe the stupid bits and pieces lady guessed i was my frenz' didi... wth.

a fren commented:"with me, itz only frenz." is it?

It is difficult to fathom what lies beyond the mask that people maintain somehow, that we know not whether to believe in the mask or search further within to find out if the interior befits the exterior, or if everything is just a pretense, a facade. I find it inexplicably impossible to choose between trusting my instincts and trusting my eyes, because both simply possess their own limitations -- perhaps to figure a way to trust both at the same time if we want to grasp the truth, or what we deem as closest to the truth.


taken off a frenz blog and itz so true. sometimes, u realli can't tell bout ur ownself much less other pplz masks. maybe people have different facets of themselves and they manifest at different times, or maybe its just my naivete to believe so.

ignorance is bliss (aren't i blissful)

sometimes

i wish life were black and white (but it ain't)
i wish u would talk to me (but u wun)
i wish u could take my hurt, sadness and anger (but ur not supposed to)
i wish u would call (but ur not there)
i wish u would lend a listening ear (u always do)
i wish u would miss me the way i miss u (u always have)
i wish u would tell me wat to do when the going gets tough (u always let the tough get going)
i wish u would love me (i know u do)


I look beyond the empty cross
Forgetting what my life has cost
And wipe away the crimson stains
And dull the nails that still remains
More and more I need you now
I owe you more each passing hour
Battle between grace and pride
I gave up not so long ago
So steal my heart and take the pain
Wash the feet and cleanse my pride
Take the selfish, take the weak
And all the things I cannot hide
Take the beauty, take my tears
The sin-soaked heart and make it yours
Take my world all apart
Take it now, take it now
And serve the ones that I despise
Speak the words I can't deny
Watch the world I used to love
Fall to dust and thrown away
I look beyond the empty cross
Forgetting what my life has cost
Wipe away the crimson stains
And dull the nails that still remain
So steal my heart and take my pain
Take the selfish, take the weak
And all the things I cannot hide
Take the beauty, take my tears
Take my world apart, take my world apart
I pray,and I pray, and I pray
Take my world apart
Worlds apart

tyr

today started with a hi,
and ended on a high.
the laughter shared,
tears that shed,
told a story of u, sad.
changed, it has,
from today onwards.
to look on life,
not as a coward.
paths crossed not once,
not twice, but forever;
were urs, were mine,
are ours together.
i'll never forget this day,
with u, yes, u,
every single u,
and all i have to say,
is 'unforgettable you'.

have u ever read ur own blog? well, i have and i think it's great cos it gives a great perspective of urself u mite not have known/realised. lotsa plans over the next 2 days and still dunno wat i'll end up doing. we'll see... i resolve to change. i dun wanna disappoint myself so much anymore even though its so easy too. dun wanna divulge into details cos... just dun wanna.

i wished for things that i don't need (all i wanted)
... oh yeah, everything's all wrong, yeah
stranger than your sympathy
... and now my head's been filled with doubt

i'm quite delirious! lol... today was chao fun... even though we lost 2-11 i got past the pissed off mood by the 4th goal i think... heh. and guess wat? i scored! it was just like in my dreams... time's running out... i'm in the box... the cross comes in and the goal goes in just as the whistle blows for fulltime! heh... beautiful own goal there off my foot. i was crazily hyper after tt and i was smiling all the way to the bus stop, on the bus and so on... ppl on the bus looked at me as if i was crazed. lol. i mite've been. ifg's damn fun... wish it'll never end.

man is proud. man is always afraid to admit he is wrong. man resists learning. man doesn't understand the inner workings of another man though the other isn't much different from himself. man is confused, most of the time. man wants companions but man can't deal with companions. man is selfish but man wants to share.

i'll continue my 'man' comments another time. and btw, for all u feminists out there, man refers to both female and male human beings. *doh* inter-personal relationships are always tricky. guess i shud step out of my bubble once in awhile to survey the wreckage. but i'll nvr accept the opinion tt ppl are evil/superficial/yadayadaya cos i believe tt ppl are born gd. call me watever u want. i dun care.

I hate the way you talk to me
And the way you cut your hair
I hate the way you drive my car
I hate it when you stare

I hate your big dumb combat boots
And the way you read my mind
I hate you so much it makes me sick
It even makes me rhyme

I hate the way you're always right
I hate it when you lie
I hate it when you make me laugh -- Even
worse when you make me cry

I hate it that you're not around
And the fact that you didn't call
But mostly I hate the way
I don't hate you
Not even close, not even a little bit, not
any at all