i guess famous amos should say something about prom. stupid da =p has it hit u that prom signifies the end of lotsa things? or perhaps just one thing, 'lost' friendships. i.e. the people you'll almost never meet again barring outstanding circumstances. well, it hit me quite a number of times. the close frenz will always be close to ur heart (ttz why they're close) but those on the periphery will disappear. perhaps, once in awhile, appear as a blip on the radar but otherwise... gone. school gave me an excuse to see you, to hear you. you gave me a reason to come to school. now, there's no more reason or excuse. soon, tekong will be 'all'. all my time, all my energy... as well as all the other guys'. but as the famous chinese saying says (or rather one of the few i know), tian xia wu bu san zi yan xi. we can't help but feel sad when there's parting and we shouldn't feel otherwise, but we can't help it. thats what makes life so magical. how different paths cross and diverge at different parts for different lengths. may mine and yours cross one day again. and then, we'll feel happy, as we should.

3 months? wow... 1 month? ouch... studying? u better be... me? not realli...

'He had known that she would pass from his hands and eyes, but had thought she could live in his mind, not realising that the very fact that we have loved the dead increases their unreality, and that the more passionately we invoke them the further they recede.' A Passage to India

we never consider the afterlife, not till it confronts us face-on either in the form of others or ourselves. yet when we do, we tend to overconsider it and forget life itself.

random thoughts on love (first draft)

l-o-v-e
the word everyone tries to define
but never come close

better to have once loved
than never loved before?
but you'll never truly know will you
because you can't be both at the same time

love is what makes the world go round?
if it is, then wouldn't it spin
faster and faster when i see you?

but of cos, i'm mistaken
that's not love, that's lust
but isn't lust the physical form of love?

surely love is physical
as well as mental
and definitely spiritual
for it transcends everything

but what would i truly know about love
for love's a two-way thing isn't it?
so that would make unreciprocated love
a contradiction wouldn't it?

love is everything
yet nothing but a feeling
love encompasses many many things
yet is the simplest thing in the world

indeed, i seem to see the light
of what love is, not what it isn't
perhaps the reason i'm able to
is because i'm not in it

i don't claim to know all of it
for who truly can?
but i know what i need to know
to make me love... love

l-o-v-e
the word everyone can't define
because we're too close
way too close to it

wow... itz been how long? almost 2 months, which is gd. meaning almost nobody will still come here. haha. i realised the blogging world is still alive. and kicking. i'm delirious. dun ask why. it'll take too long. i love it how everything works out in the end. and before u slam me for saying tt, u just have to think of what end u have in mind. i just choose to see all the gd things as an end, and u all the bad. itz a choice whether u wanna wake up and smell the roses.

hmmm... u know that ur easy to bully when 9, 10 yr olds walk all over u. hmm... will have more comments bout the camp when itz all over.

lotsa thoughts to share and time to do it. so dun worry. i'll be ard for awhile... i hope.

it's not that i dun care... pls dun think so. if u wanna fault me... then fault me for caring too much. for trying to hard and failing... for thinking too much in things u think are as clear as black and white. but i do care... i realli do.

dun u just love 'a' names? adele... alexis... astrid... just beautiful names dun u think? i think so...

too few ppl know what life's truly about... it's like you get caught up in doing everything that you should do that you dun do what you want to do... and in the end, ttz wat truly matters. of cos an education, a gd job, money is impt. but is it that f-ing important that you forgo your happiness? sometimes, i think death doesn't happen often enough. if a special person in our life died every once in awhile, we would appreciate our lives more and know what exactly we wanna do and do it. dreams. dare to dream but more importantly, dare to try and fulfill that dream. ... i'm too pissed off to type anymore. sighz.

... the language that everyone on earth was capable of understanding in their heart. it was love. ... it was the pure language of the world. it required no explanation, just as the universe needs none as it travels through endless time. ... because, when ou know that language, it's easy to understand that someone in the world awaits you, whether it's in the middle of the desert or in some great city. and when two such people encounter each other, and their eyes meet, the past and the future become unimportant. there is only that moment, and the incredible certainty that everything under the sun has been written by one hand only. it is the hand that evokes love, and creates a twin soul for every person in the world. without such love, one's dreams would have no meaning.

the alchemist, paulo coelho

may you dream wonderful dreams, as i do; and may you find meaning in them, as i will one day.

it's time yet again for one of my reflections on a soppy romantic movie. forces of nature may have a reed-thin plot, relatively poor acting and many other flaws but its simple message stands out. like ben affleck's char said, i believe in one perfect person, that when i meet that person, everything else will fade away. that there'll be a bubble around us. that love's perfect... and its everything. everything that realli matters.
i've come to realise that there's more than one perfect person out there. that everything won't fade away. that love has its ups and downs. but i still believe that love's perfect. that its everything. that the downs only serve to put everything into perspective. that the ups are oh-so worth it. and that love's all that realli matters... to me at least.

there's something about never-ending love stories. jag... smallville... many, many others... sometimes u love them, sometimes u hate them. why can't lana and clark ever stay together? because ppl dun like watching happily-ever-afters. sure we want one, but we always like watching conflict. a good piece of literature (theatre, prose, tv) always has a main conflict, and many subconflicts. and it'll only be resolved with a climax just before the end. so for those, like me, wanting to be clark and wishing he and lana would stay together forever... happy waiting.

partner stretch... hehe. guyz screaming... hehe. awkward positions... hehe. how i would love to know what you're thinking rite now... hehe.

would i rather be angsty or soppy? would i rather be profanity-spouting or love-professing? ... who loves rhetorical questions?

'in america' is beautiful. why do i believe there is a God in this world so much? because i believe in miracles. i believe in love. i believe love makes the world a nicer world to live in. i believe death's just a part of life. i believe in life after death. i believe i can make a difference. i believe in many things u probably dun understand, much less believe.
i know there are many logical arguments against God. i know a single person can't do much. i know the world can be cruel. i know many people are selfish. i know i'm not perfect, and neither are u. i know love ain't perfect, it hurts at times. i know... that knowing isn't everything.
am i gonna stop just because the rest of the world hasn't started? am i gonna stop striving for perfection just because perfection is unattainable? am i gonna stop loving just because not acknowledged, not reciprocated, not enough? am i gonna stop feeling because the world's too caught up knowing? am i gonna stop believing... ever?
dun need to agree... just understand.

i need my fix - soppy romantic films tt is. are there any coming up soon? i'm a lil miffed at myself. i dun put enuf effort into my work at times and of cos i get the grades i deserve ( = crap), but then i wonder to myself, y din i put more into it at first? lol. as more responsibilities come my way, i put more expectations upon myself. which is a gd thing... i guess. wanna read house of sand and fog... the movie was rather gd but i think the bk's better. caught a glimpse of it the other day. like the bird trapped in a house idea. makes sense. i'm not. =)

guess what. half a dozen ppl out there think i'm amy and i do free lance or some crap lidat. heh. received 6 prank calls and 3 prank smses in 2 hours? then, someone leaves a voicemail and when i listen to it, its some eerie girl's voice which goes 'hello' in a kiddish way. ugh. i'm positively scared.

ppl still read my blog... interesting. tt was the reason for tt 'enamoured' post... to see if u guyz still read. ttz all. get a life. =p

hmm... i'm bored. got 4 essays to do by next tues. heh. guess i shud go start doing them... now. i have friendster! yes.. add me all u ppl who still read my blog. which equals none so i guess i'll remain friendless (relatively). ceh245@yahoo.co.uk is my email add. hmm... i'm tired. shall stop spouting nonsense.

watched 2 'my kinda' shows during the hols... love actually and crazy first love (korean). love actually's more typical soppy romantic comedy type but the satire in crazy first love was hilarious. to me at least. every love show no matter how crappy gives me new insights into love. wat a loser i am. yup, i know. speculating and theorising about a topic i know nuts about. but its probably for the better. than i can keep my perfect, ideal love forever and ever. till it happens to me, or till my world irrevocably shatters.

go figure.

i need a gd star-gazing song. for those times when i'm running my 8km 'easy' run and i have to 'lift those heavy legs'. the stars are beautiful... aren't they? just like u and me. wonderfully and creatively made. enamoured is a nice word. doesn't come close to delirious or serendipity but it ain't bad. my scattered thoughts might just come back on a regular basis. depends.