just thought i should post my thoughts.

wanted to go on sat but didn't really wanna either. lack of effort you may call it but perhaps it felt better just praying for her with my cell group, perhaps i can't really deal with such situations that well, perhaps i find it sometimes a little sad (not really fake) but... i dunno, how people gather to remember someone when it could have been done a lot better before. dunno if any of what i've said makes sense but i don't really care.

there was once a point in time when i really cared what people thought of me. even if it weren't true, it'll affect me in some way. but now, i only need to answer to myself and god in all honesty. even though i love my frenz and treasure their opinions a ton, they won't always understand and people are entitled to their own opinion. so if you think something about me, you either confront me bout it, check it out for yourself, or just live with that impression which you think is true.

i dunno why there's so much angst and anger in the world. i honestly don't. because people don't realise that by giving in to it, by not making the effort to make things better, to be nicer, to be happier, they're actually making things harder on themselves. you're wrong you know. itz actually easier to see the world as horrible and unkind than to see the love that it holds and shares at times.

give it some serious thought and don't dismiss everything. don't be so cynical. yet, don't change yourself. don't give up your ideals. i know its hard to keep trying, but heck. i've been trying my entire life.